Yunho's Universe
There were
exactly two people in Yunho’s world that he was willing to give up his life
for.
One of them
was his mom, who had been working hard ever since Yunho was able to remember.
The other one was... a stranger.
At first.
Yunho met him on the street in a cold night. Not
exactly a good first impression, as their first encounter started with a dizzy
Yunho stumbling over a potted plant on the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into
one of his friends.
“Sorry-”
Yunho slurred, holding his head – it’s getting heavy and he couldn’t figure out
why.
“Watch where
you’re going, kid,” the guy who bumped into him said, almost sarcastically.
Yunho didn’t catch that, as he dropped to the ground, startling that group of
friends. He gathered his strength to open his eyes a bit and saw that his hand
that had been holding his head for the last five minutes was colored by a wet,
red liquid.
“Hey, kid?”
Yunho heard, but he was too weak to reply. He started seeing stars, and the
last thing he saw was his worried
face staring at him.
That group of
strangers brought Yunho to the
hospital, waited until Yunho’s mom came late from work to the emergency room,
and they didn’t know what was going on until Yunho finally regained consciousness
and told them what happened.
No – he was only muttering one
word, and everyone looked at each other, sympathy visibly seen on their faces. One
word that specifically mentioned someone
that should’ve been you and your mom’s
protector in the family.
One whole
year had passed since their first encounter, and Yunho’s mom was never absent
inviting his son’s fairly new group
of friends to their house. She said she was very grateful for them to help
Yunho out. Especially towards the specific one – where Yunho got close the
most.
“Hyung,” Yunho called him on one of those days where the sun
beaming and gave stings on their skin, sitting on the stone bench before they
started the planned dance busking. “Are you sure we’re gonna do this? It’s
hot.” Yunho fanned himself with his hat.
The elder
grinned, tying up his shoelaces tightly. “Yes, Yunho. It’s the time where
everyone is out for cold drinks and our place is perfect this time!” He looked
so determined.
“Okay, but
you promised me iced Americano after this!” Yunho reminded him.
“Deal.”
He smiled,
then walked away towards their other friends. Yunho hated that smile – it’s not
expressing joy, it’s not expressing glee. It expressed a forced happiness,
hiding sadness and desperation. It was a sign of a buried dream. A dream they
talked about, months ago.
A shared dream.
Yunho
couldn’t recall since when did he was able to speak comfortably about his own dream.
Wishes. Hopes. For the last ten years of his life, all he wanted to do was to
graduate, got a nice paid job, and then brought his mom to live far away from
her husband. He pushed aside his own dream ten years ago – since his dad
expressing his obnoxious reaction towards Yunho’s dance award by tearing the
certificate and throwing the trophy away.
He had given
up his dream – until this hyung came
to his life. He listened to Yunho. Yunho listened to him. Turned out him and
his family weren’t in a good matter, too.
There were
some unavoidable and weird cases that somehow made you befriended people who
were involved. In Yunho’s case, this
was it.
A shared trauma.
“Guys,”
Yunho’s hyung spoke when they were
hanging out in a café, him getting Yunho the promised iced Americano from one
week ago. “There was a call from a dance company yesterday.”
For once in
Yunho’s life, he saw a slight spark on his hyung’s
eyes.
Yunho’s eyes
widened. “Really?” he took the coffee cup from him. “What did they say?”
“They saw us
a week ago when we were busking. Long story short, they want our team to
audition next week in their company. I got their number and address, it was a
bit far from here...”
“You sure
it’s not just some sketchy office?” one of their friends doubted.
The elder
shook his head. “I searched them on the internet. It seems legit,” he slurped
his mocha latte and sighed, smiling towards his friends.
There was a
cheer coming from their table followed by hands patting on the backs, hugging,
praising each other’s hard work after all this time.
“Hyung,” Yunho called. “I’m so happy for
you,” he said sincerely.
He smiled.
Not the kind of smile that Yunho hated. “I’m so happy for you, too, Yunho.” He
patted Yunho’s head, sending warmth to Yunho’s heart.
To be able to
take one step closer to their dream... was one of those small things Yunho
appreciated in life. Because in a span of one
year, finally, he got the grasp of his life together. His parents had divorced
six months ago and Yunho couldn’t be happier to finally be free.
Not for his hyung – it was longer for him. Before he
gathered people who shared the same
dreams two years ago, he was alone for the whole three years.
Yet his dream
was still there. Buried, but with all his struggle, he dug it back. And he was
still able to help Yunho, even in
that stance.
Yunho only
wanted for the universe to repay his kindness. Not only Yunho, but the others,
too. As he was their helper. Their protector.
Their hope. Their reminder... that it was okay to have a dream for people like them.
They left the
café after planning for some practice session, all feeling hopeful. The others
went home cheerfully, saying goodbye to Yunho, but one person stayed, standing
on the sidewalk, sighing towards the evening sky.
“Hyung?”
Yunho tried to call him, careful not to startling him from whatever was on his
mind.
“It’s one
step closer, huh?” he said, but Yunho didn’t feel like it was meant to him – it
sounded like he was talking to himself. “After all this time...”
“...our hard
work will paid off,” Yunho finished his sentence. His hyung turned head to Yunho, staring.
“My dad wants
to meet me,” he said out of the blue. “I just got his message.”
Yunho, who
held grudge over this person he’ve never met, winced. “What? Why?”
The elder let
out a smile hearing Yunho’s defensive tone. “He said... he wants to apologize.
Sent me a long paragraph, earlier,” he laughed stiffly.
“Do you want
me to accompany you?” Yunho suggested, hearing the slight nervousness from that
laugh. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” he added.
“Yunho, I...”
he started, walking towards the sidewalk bench to sit down, which Yunho
followed. “I feel like... this is the
chance. To... move forward. The audition call... Dad’s message... it’s like a
sign from the universe, you know?”
The universe. Yunho felt like his heart dropped hearing that. He’s been
wanting the universe to repay hyung’s kindness, right?
“I have a
good feeling about this. It’s like... suddenly everything is in my grasp. Feel
like I finally have a chance,” he
continued. Yunho listened, processing his words one by one. “I’ve been waiting
and holding on for five years,
Yunho.”
Yunho
believed that, too. The feeling of hope. Because he had felt that, one year
ago, not so long after their incident, when his hyung introduced him to a lawyer, his hyung’s former high school senior. The introduction which then led
to Yunho convincing his mom to get a divorce as soon as possible, with the
lawyer on their side.
It was a long
story, for both Yunho and him.
Yunho gulped,
glancing at the elder who was fidgeting with his fingers. “Hyung, you know I’ll do whatever to help you, right? You know I’ll
do anything for your happiness, right?” he wanted to be sure. “So, I’ll just
want to ask you. Is this something that is going to bring you happiness?
Because if it is, I have no right to hold you back,” he ended, then waited.
The elder
took a deep breath before he turned to look at Yunho. “Of course, Yunho. Don’t
you see my face right now? I’ve been holding my smile for long, I don’t want
everyone to look at me and point, ‘oh, he’s crazy’. Even though that’s exactly what
I feel right now.”
He let out a
laugh. Yunho threw himself towards his hyung,
in which he startled for the unexpected hug, but still replying by hugging
Yunho back.
“Then why...
why do you look so sad?” Yunho asked, didn’t want their hug to end soon, so he
held his hyung tightly.
But the elder
loosened the hug, holding Yunho’s wrist, before he answered.
“Because I
feel like it’s the end of everything.”
* * *
Can you blame the universe?
Because Yunho
wanted to blame the universe, the moment he got the long message delivered to
his phone and his heart dropped. Yunho wanted to blame the universe, the moment
he went outside his house, not even telling his mom, who were cooking in the
kitchen. Yunho wanted to blame the universe, the moment he ran through some
people on the street, heart pulsating. Didn’t bat an eye when he bumped into some
guy, who then shouted at him.
Irrelevant, Yunho thought, as his tears nearly fell down.
Yunho wanted
to blame the universe, the moment he finally got to the emergency room – the
same emergency room he was brought by him
and his friends. Yunho wanted to blame the universe, the moment he saw the
other hyungs gathered around one bed, all eyes on Yunho when he arrived.
“Yunho,” one
of them spoke softly, as if he was afraid of waking anyone up. “Hyung is...”
Hyung is what? Yunho wanted to scream. But he saw him. Covered up by a blanket from his head to ankle. Unmoving, even though Yunho had been
watching him carefully, looking for – something,
something that gave him the sign of a
living person –
“Yunho,”
again, they spoke to him – can’t they
shut up? He’s busy – and Yunho felt a grip on his shoulder, bringing him up
from the floor. “Let’s... let’s not be here for a moment...”
Yunho didn’t
realize he was kneeling beside the bed. He didn’t even notice that he was
crying, until someone offered him a handkerchief, which only getting forgotten
on his hand, as he stared mindlessly to the floor. Yunho didn’t catch all the
explanation the doctor gave to them – all he could hear were robber, stomach, blood loss.
And an apologize.
What apologize, Yunho wanted to curse. He refused to accept that the
universe plotted this – it had been so scarily perfect, the timing, the situation, everything. Everything that
pointed out hope. A chance. His hyung’s second chance towards his new hopeful life.
But why did
the universe instantly took it away – along with him?
His hyung, who shared the same dream with
him.
His hyung, who had been running towards the
same goal with him all this time.
His hyung, who deserved everything in this
world.
Can you blame the universe?
If only Yunho had second chance too...
* * *
There were exactly two people in Yunho’s world
that he is willing to give up his
life for.
One of them is his mom, who is still working as hard as before, ever since Yunho was able to
remember.
The other
one... is a memory.
* * *